How to Say No and Make It Stick: Your Action Plan

You want to say “no.” You have every intention of saying “no.” But the same old “yes” keeps coming out of your mouth.

In Part 1, I covered the reasons why saying “no” is so difficult and ended up blaming our ancestors for the problem. I described the consequences for uttering the nearly-forbidden word. I also outlined critical philosophical points about how your frame of mind supports your determination to take back your time (and your life).

Part 1 was philosophical, Part 2 is practical.

Let's start at the very beginning! (It's a very good place to start.)

There is a mini table of contents in each section, so technically you could jump around. But I really encourage you to read from the top…the “Master of No” curriculum builds progressively on itself, from simple to advanced techniques.

Now it’s time to explain exactly how to approach different scenarios where you want to say “no” but don’t. Let’s start with a karate analogy…

Section 4: Avoiding Being Asked1

Note: Always click on these → 2 for additional, sometimes slightly off topic, but still interesting stuff. Go ahead, try it.

Earning a black belt in karate is not about mastering skills so that you can seek out fights. Instead, it’s about mastering skills that allow you to win fights that you can’t avoid. That philosophy applies to our situation:

Learning to say “no” is not about mastering skills so that you can seek out ways to reject other people. Instead, it’s about mastering skills that allow you turn down requests that you can’t avoid.

In this section:

The fine art of avoidance
Avoiding time leeches
Managing your social media

The fine art of avoidance

If you aren’t present, you can’t be asked. Thus, avoidance is an essential technique. If you master nothing but avoidance and never get any better at saying “no,” you’ll still make serious progress on reclaiming your life.

It takes some thoughtful planning to not show up, or to at least cut way back on showing up to places or situations where takers congregate.

That might be the den of vipers in the office breakroom. It might be your neighbor’s out-of-control backyard party or your extended family’s annual ~~mud fight~~ reunion. It could even be the local charity meeting that is starting to overwhelm your life.

You know the places where you’ll be asked to donate time, emotion, attention, or money that you don’t want to part with.

Pull away, using whatever excuse you think will work, until a new pattern has been established and your attendance is no longer expected:

Avoiding the office break room: “I’ve been so busy lately. I need to use my lunch hour to run errands / catch up on gift shopping / exercise.”

Avoiding the family reunion: “We’re going to start our own tradition of an annual family campout this year.”

Avoiding an overwhelming charity commitment: “My family commitments have gotten seriously out of control. I’ll still get your emails, but I can’t come to the meetings anymore.”

I’ll address social media in a moment, and you’ll find more tips under Section 6: Advanced “no” techniques.

Avoiding time leeches

If your biggest challenge is long-talkers sucking away your time, then avoiding them as much as possible will be your go-to move.

It’s harder to avoid a request for attention in the moment:

“You’ll never believe what just happened to me!”

…than it is to avoid a request for future involvement:

“Let’s do dinner so I can tell you what just happened to me.”

So, easing yourself out of the orbit of in-the-moment takers is the best solution.

“But,” you say, “time leeches stalk me!”

I’ve heard from many people who just want to get work done at work and make a point not to hang out with talkative slackers. Their problem is that the slackers seek them out, cornering them in locations with no escape like a lion ambushing a gazelle.

If headphones and fake virtual meetings don’t send a strong enough message, then you’ll have to edge out of the empathy zone. Nothing kills an over-sharer’s enthusiasm like a little judgment:

“Do you really think that was the best choice you could have made?”

“Well, I sure wouldn’t have said that in that situation.”

Painful, perhaps, but you can get the words out if you just let your frustration and impatience boil over instead of clamping a lid on it.

Now about those virtual commitments…

Managing your social media

Doing your best not to show up, but still finding yourself drawn into the drama through social media? Facebook, et al. can undoubtedly lead to requests for your time (and certainly your money!) but its specialty is sucking away your emotional commitment.

You have a few choices:

Don’t show up (again!)

As with physical locations where askers congregate, virtual hangouts can be a quicksand of obligations. Groups on any social media platform must be considered with a critical eye.

If necessary, work yourself over to the fringes of the group by decreasing your interaction, then quietly slip out the back, so to speak.

Interact less, lurk more

Stop telling the algorithm that you desperately want to see every meal your sister eats. Look but don’t like. Over time, you’ll see less and less of it.

Unfollow/ignore

As with any change in life, it doesn’t have to be accomplished all at once. Start with the person or group you most need to draw away from, assess the impact on your life, then pick another.

I know this is simple stuff, but I’m always surprised at how many people feel pressured to commit to things online. Anything that is not face-to-face falls into the “you have no excuse” category when it comes to making changes. Difficult, a little, but not that difficult.

Note: For those pesky and insistent direct messages or texts, I provide more ideas in Section 6.

OK. Avoidance is just the appetizer. Time to get to the challenging items in the main course. We can’t put it off any longer. It’s time to spit the actual word “no” – or some form of it – out of your mouth.

Section 5: “No” Options

Ready to take action? Here’s your menu of options, in order from easiest to hardest. Some will apply more than others to your situation; read, think, and come up with a strategy that works for you.

In this section:

Soft “no’s”: evasive maneuvers
Semi-soft “no’s”: vague untruths
Semi-hard “no’s”: intentional untruths
Semi-hard “no’s”: “yes” (but with qualifications)
Hard “no’s”: gentle honesty
Rock hard “no’s”: harsh honesty

Picture the situations where you are most likely to have your time or attention sucked away. Picture the people you will have to deal with to alter the scenario. With that in mind, consider your course of action…

Soft no’s: evasive maneuvers

The softest “no” that you can say to somebody comes down to being evasive. This is when you create excuses that aren’t entirely false about being busy or having other commitments.

Sure, other nebulous commitments exist, hypothetically. But your allegedly packed schedule might contain nothing but large blocks of time labeled “only doing things I feel like doing.”

You’re not outright saying “I can’t,” just a hazy, inferred “I probably won’t be able to” with no intention of following up at all.

For somebody mastering the art of saying “no,” evasion is the starting point. Like taking medicine, using the minimum effective dose is called for.

The meek may ultimately inherit the earth, but they’ll be too busy fulfilling unwanted commitments to enjoy it. Your goal for every step of this process is to work on building your “no” muscles for when you really need them.

Options

Amateur: “I’ll have to check my schedule.”

This leaves the door of possibility too far open.

Master: “I think I have something already planned.”

This signals a reasonably clear lack of intention to ever follow up.

Another scenario:

Amateur: “I’m swamped right now.”

This slides right by nearly all socializers. It’s not even worth messing with.

Master: (Looks at phone) “Oh, I think I missed a call from my doctor’s office. I’ve been trading voicemails…”

They might wonder about your medical condition, but rarely will anyone press for details.

Listen: The asker's agendas

6 minutes

Click below to expand and read a transcript. Click again to minimize it.

➤ Read a transcript

* Audio transcript *

It’s very important to understand why people are asking you to do things that you don’t want to do. We are all acting out some agenda when we open our mouths.

I don’t want to paint all people who are pressuring you as having some evil agenda; rather I want you to understand their possible motivations, so you can learn how best to address these unwanted requests.

Yes, there are plenty of people who are just trying to get out of work or who are reluctant, perhaps too lazy, to learn a skill in order to get some task done. These people’s motivations are fairly easy to determine, but there can be much more subtle reasons for people to ask for your time or attention.

It usually comes down to some sort of validation. These first three items are what I call, purposeful validation agendas. Let’s work our way through them.

First up…the asker’s purposeful validation agenda one: expressing care and consideration.

These people are saying, “I don’t need it done, but I want to show that I care for you.”

It’s counterintuitive, but one of the most effective methods for binding a person to you in certain circumstances is to ask them to do you a favor. This usually only works if the asker holds some authority over the askee.

My wife has used this technique extensively in her elementary classroom. As the only adult in the room, kids naturally look up to their teacher as the authority figure, similar to the way they view their parents. A request from the authority figure for a personal favor is an extremely effective way to acknowledge a child and communicate that she is meaningful to you and to subtly compliment her at the same time.

For a child who is taller than average or overweight, “Hey Thomas. Could you please push that heavy science experiment box out into the hall for the janitor for me?” This validates to Thomas that his size is a benefit, not a social handicap in Mrs. Weigle’s room.

For a child who is shy and often in the background, “Jasmine. I’m so disorganized today. Could you please gather up all the lesson items and pencils I spread around the classroom and put them on my desk?” This raises Jasmine’s esteem in the eyes of her peers because the teacher thinks she has a valuable attribute, organization.

This method is much more effective than just saying, “Thomas. You’re so strong, or Jasmine, you’re always so organized.” So, someone may be trying to express that they care for you, but they aren’t comfortable in saying exactly that.
Admittedly, this is somewhat rare, especially in adults. The next one isn’t as rare.

This is the asker’s purposeful validation agenda two: asking for a basic commitment.

They’re saying, “I don’t necessarily need it done, but I want confirmation that you are committed to me.” This is usually fairly innocent and done almost automatically by many.

The ask is usually not large. This can range from small things such as, “Will you take the garbage out?” Or “Will you make the salad?” To larger things, “Will you help me set up my new apartment?” Or even larger requests, “Will you go whitewater rafting with me?”

In this case, a person could be consciously or unconsciously testing your commitment to a relationship. Saying in their own way, if you value our relationship, if you like me…perhaps if you love me…you’ll do what I ask. You may have heard this one in your family dynamics.

Now we get to the more calculated asks. The asker’s purposeful validation agenda three: asking for total commitment.

They’re saying, “I need it done and I want you to fully commit to me.” This occurs when asking is a way of cementing a relationship. It’s a way for someone to take advantage of a universal, human point of view.

You see, the point of view of a person who accepts a request or commits to doing something is this:

“If I have invested my time, effort or money in a relationship, it must be valuable because, of course, I would never waste my time on doing something that lacks value. Therefore, I will vigorously defend the person or group I’ve invested in no matter what. Otherwise, I’ll have to admit that I’ve been taken advantage of and wasted my time and I hate looking foolish.”

This works with human relationships, of course, when people demand a level of commitment that is hard to back away from. But as my smart readers have undoubtedly surmised, it works with organizations as well. Organizations that ask you to commit to lock in your support: cults, charities, political campaigns, and yes, of course, families again.

In the wrong hands, it can be abused, and often is by those who have an uncanny sense of how and when they can take advantage. An extreme example would be a violent gang initiation.

Now let’s get to the final agenda item. This one is not purposeful.

This is an asker’s innocent validation agenda, which comes down to, “I’m lonely.” They’re saying, “I don’t need it done, but I want to spend time with you, but I just can’t say that out loud.”

None of these askers’ agendas are a reason why you must give in to what another person wants. But if you understand the reason behind the ask, that will often help you figure out the appropriate action to take to address it.

And I have a final question for you: are you employing any of these techniques with other people? It’s something to think about.

* End of audio transcript *

Semi-soft no’s: vague untruths

Now we cross the line into lying…I mean, untruthing.3

Rather than a hazy assertion that there is probably some unnamed commitment keeping you from participating (as with evasion, above), you actually name a commitment.

As mentioned earlier, the get-out-of-jail-free card is that you have a family event, because people generally don’t question those.

Note: Family commitments you want to avoid will be covered more specifically in a bit.

Don’t provide details! Name the event or obligation that you’re committed to, but don’t be specific about when this event will occur.

Options

Amateur: “I have a family/friend/work event on Saturday.”

This will inevitably invite questions about details that you are unprepared to offer.

Master: “My sister/friend/boss is planning a get-together on Saturday.”

Just enough details to forestall further questions and planning doesn’t mean it will ever happen. After all, someone else is in charge of the plan, not you.

Shading the truth takes practice!

All the responses that I’ve discussed so far are things that you should have ready to say at any time. It’s a bit unsettling to advise that you should practice being less than honest, but in essence, that’s what I’m talking about.

Don’t try to come up with things on the spot, or they will inevitably sound like weak excuses.

Semi-hard no’s: intentional untruths

When someone is persistently seeking your involvement and none of the previous steps have worked – and you just aren’t able to be totally honest – then it’s time to slide over the line to white lies.

Intentional ~~lying~~ untruthing involves fabricating an event that directly conflicts with the commitment a requestor is trying to get you to make. This may be an event that you sometimes do, such as feeding your neighbor’s cat, but you are explicitly naming it, and the commitment doesn’t actually exist.

Of course, if you’re being crafty, you make sure that it’s a commitment that can’t be checked. Only amateurs voice a commitment to another person that can be easily investigated.

Options

Amateur: “My grandson’s graduation is that day.” Or: “My girlfriend wants to see a play.”

Way too easy to get caught on this one. Never use a public event that can be looked up online or that others may know something about, as in, “Really? I know a kid graduating, too! What school?”

Master: “My granddaughter wants me to take her fishing.” Or: “My girlfriend is taking me rock climbing.”

You can’t be boxed in on this one. Fishing where? “Not sure yet…depends on when her soccer practice is over.” Climbing rocks where? “I can’t say…my girlfriend is in charge of that.” In other words, “I’m committed but don’t control the outcome.” Perfect for later deniability.

The social media trap

If you are the type person who broadcasts everything you do on social media, then you’re setting yourself up to be found out when none of your supposed commitments come to pass:

“If Bob had gone to that tailgate party he was telling me about, he’d have posted pictures of him holding up a rack of ribs because he always does.”

A master of “no” only posts after a time delay to avoid sending signals that their lives are documented in real time. Put up pictures of significant events in your life a few days after they occur so any cyber-stalkers can never be sure what you’re doing at any precise moment.

Or…you could just stop posting every single tidbit of your life, so you have plausible deniability with everyone. But let’s not get too crazy! If your burrito is not made momentarily famous on Instagram, will you have any appetite for it? You could starve to death.

Are you ready to enter the big leagues? Time to leave the lies behind.

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Semi-hard no’s: “yes” (but with qualifications)

Agreeing to a bit of commitment – but not all of it! – is a baby step toward a full-throated “no.” It’s honest (mostly), but not so harsh and conflict-ridden.

Options

No amateurs anymore! If you can say any form of “no,” then you’re entering the realm of Master.

Master

“Yes, I can help you with designing your yard sale posters, but I can just sketch a few things out. I don’t have time to create a digital version.”

“I can’t volunteer for the garbage cleanup, but I can make some phone calls for you.”

“I’ll make my famous radish salad and drop it off the afternoon before the event, but I can’t attend.”

It’s not perfect, but a qualified “yes” is better than an unconditional “yes.”

Don’t make this your go-to, though. You must use it judiciously, and usually in those situations where you just can’t say a hard “no,” such as with family.

Hard no’s: gentle honesty

It shouldn’t have to be a goal to speak with honesty; it should be the natural way of talking. But it’s not, so you must work your way up to it. We start at the gentle level – providing a reasonable justification for not doing something so the other person can save face instead of feeling personally rejected.

Saying no. So easy to think it, so hard to get the word out of your mouth. Click To Tweet

Gentle honesty comes down to telling the other person that the activity is just not something that you’re interested in doing. You’re not saying you won’t do it (that’s the next step), you’re saying that it’s not something that you feel any compulsion to pursue, even if it’s a personal favor to them.

This is distinct from the earlier options: we aren’t making up a conflict that, alas, is keeping us from committing even though – if we didn’t have this unfortunate other thing – we’d love to do it. Instead, we are saying that we could do it, we just won’t, because.

It’s subtly different, but it’s harder to pull off because you’re skating closer to the line of outright rejection and those caveman instincts will fight against it.

Options

Master

“I’m a basic Excel user; I don’t have time to figure out what you need done.”

“Video editing is not my thing. I can barely take a decent picture.”

“My back won’t stand up to moving furniture. If I even look at a couch, it starts to ache.”

“My house is just not safe for watching children. I’m afraid to walk through my living room barefoot myself.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’ve got too much on my mind getting ready for a meeting at work tomorrow.”

You see the pattern: I won’t do (A) because of (B). Honest, but still providing a small justification to keep the other person from feeling outright rejected.

Be warned: Once you’ve entered the realm of honesty, you may be forced to go all the way…

Rock-hard no’s: harsh honesty

We’ve arrived at the pinnacle of mastery: simply telling someone that you don’t want to help them. Odd that full honesty would be called harsh, but that’s precisely the way it comes across:

“No. I don’t feel like it.”

…sounds selfish, doesn’t it? And even mean-spirited, especially when you’re asked “why” and you respond with:

“I’d rather watch TV, or read, or pretty much do anything besides go appliance shopping with you.”

It almost seems lazy, like you can’t even be bothered to put in a bit of effort to manufacture a good excuse that lets the other person down easy. This level of honesty is so rare that only a few people can pull it off, and usually only with a handful of other people.

Pro tip

Smile! Just because it’s a hard “no” doesn’t mean you can’t be gentle when you say it. Smiling diminishes counter-arguments because it denies fuel to their fire.4

What’s that? The pinnacle of mastery isn’t enough? You want to go to 11?5This is Spinal Tap Then it’s time to go where few people dare to tread: Advanced Techniques.

Section 6: Advanced “No” Techniques

If you think getting your mouth to say the word “no” is hard…advanced techniques are even more challenging because they involve altering people’s perception of your character.

In this section:

Establishing a “no” zone
Expanding your “no” zone
Becoming unreliable

Most people do not like to find themselves in positions requiring them to say “no” constantly because it’s stressful. There’s only one way out of this situation, aside from becoming a total recluse: altering people’s perception of you so they know in advance that you’ll tell them “no,” at least in certain circumstances.

It can be difficult up front, but it’s much better than continually coming up with excuses to tell people “no.” As a bonus, you will establish a more-independent personality. People may not like that you aren’t available anymore, but that feeling comes with a bit of respect for having the spine to stand up to requests.

If you are genuinely attempting to gain control of your life, this is the direction that you must go. It’s a step-by-step process.

Establishing a “no” zone

This is the easiest step, and the natural outgrowth of saying any form of hard “no.” Once you get the first “no” out of your mouth, you keep saying it over and over until you become known for that one thing that you just won’t do, ever.

Start with the thing that you most desperately want to avoid. Plant your flag on that hill and refuse to be dislodged, no matter what. Some of your “no’s” may be soft, some may be hard(ish), but no matter what, you don’t ever commit, even a little.

People will eventually get the picture that asking you to help with spring cleaning, or winterizing their boat, or propping up their ego will result in rejection. They’ll move on to other victims.

Yes, maybe others will think you’re stubborn (or worse), but eventually, they will come to accept that it’s just your thing. And if they don’t…then that is their decision.

Over time, you’ll develop a reputation for having a difficult personality in this area. People will have to decide whether they accept that or not. Yes, they will talk behind your back, but if they value the relationship, they’ll get over it.

Beware: Agreeing every once in a while restarts the training process!

Examples

Susan never ever agrees to attend the family Thanksgiving dinner, the annual inebriated screaming match that traumatizes her children.

Renato never ever sticks around to gossip at work. Anytime his long-winded coworkers start to monopolize the conversation with diatribes about the company, he looks at the time on his phone, says, “Hey, I gotta go,” and walks away.

Video: Incremental “no” and personality change

3 minutes, 56 seconds | subtitles available

Expanding your “no” zone

It won’t take long for you to get used to the reality that not everyone in the world must like or accept you. Then your next step follows naturally:

Expand your original “no” zone to include other, related items, events, or people.

Examples

Susan establishes a firm tradition of dropping off presents and cookies on Christmas Eve and making Christmas day an event for just her immediate family. After that, she works on the Independence Day barbecue (otherwise known as “beer, bratwursts, and blasphemy”).

Renato begins coming up with reasons to never attend the weekly post-work, off-site bitchfests and gradually starts wearing his headphones longer and longer each day. His productivity skyrockets, which compensates for any whisperings that he’s no longer a team player.

The perfect excuse for always saying ‘no’

Would you like to have an unassailable reason for why you can never attend anything, one that is beyond reproach and easy to use as an excuse? Then you need a hobby!

Look for something that is organized mainly online. For example:

Why online? So, you have the flexibility to do your hobby during the event that you’re skipping out on. Planning and coordinating can take place at any time with your online group, even if there isn’t an actual event scheduled.

Don’t flake out on these organizations! Choose something you’d much rather do than attend the company bowling league and start doing it.

It won’t take long for people to get the picture that your priorities lie with your healthy hobby/worthy cause. It helps them justify your lack of commitment, too:

“Andie is really into her racing thing, so she doesn’t have time to babysit anymore.”

Are you still unable to say “no” in any form, but desperately want to reclaim your time/life? I have one final option, but it’s a tough one to pull off for most people.

Becoming unreliable

If all else fails, bail.6Fail to show up; American slang

If you can inject at least a tiny bit of wiggle room into your “yes,” as in:

“Sure, I can come to your scrapbooking party, but I can’t bring any food…I’ll be running late that day.”

“I might be able to edit all the class photos. Send them to me, and I’ll see if I can do anything.”

…then you can start building your reputation as “she who never follows through” by not showing up for or doing whatever you sort of committed to. You take that small pre-excuse you floated and run with it.

Pro: You get to avoid the painful moment of denying their request outright, and you avoid the time-suck, too. Sweet!

Con: Your reputation won’t be “Camille prefers to do her own thing.” It will be “Camille always flakes out.”

If you can stand that, then you can be ~~crazy~~ flaky like a fox. You can still be someone’s friend, they’ll just have to accept that you are their unreliable friend.

Pro tip: Don’t do the last-minute excuse text or direct message! If you are going to be unreliable, then go all the way. If someone calls or messages with a “Where are you?” or a “Did you finish that stuff?” then wait at least a day, preferably longer, to respond.

“Sorry. Missed your text. I forgot. Maybe next time?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t get to that. Sorry, meant to let you know.”

We are going for, “Jon is unreliable,” not “Jon always has a last-minute excuse.” Own your new character trait and play the role with commitment!

Becoming virtually unreliable

So many requests come via text or direct message these days that you need a strategy for dealing with your phone. Becoming an unreliable responder is the best method.

But you can’t be selective with potential askers! It’s a dead giveaway if you only avoid responding to request messages. For those people who you know will eventually ask something you want to avoid, you must be an unreliable responder all the time.

Even if the message is as innocent as “how are ya?” put the phone away for several hours before letting them know you missed their text. Be sure to frequently skip responding at all. Only then will you be correctly set up to ignore/bail completely on requests you don’t want to do.

Congratulations! You’ve completed all the courses in the OverExamined Life Academy of Denial. You are now certified in all the various methods for saying “no.” This isn’t just a book learnin’ exercise, though; to get your diploma, you’re going to have to pass the final exam out in the real world.

You can use my downloadable roadmap to make your plan.

And you’ll need to answer one question…

What will you do with your time?

You have a big responsibility in life – a responsibility to yourself. Not exclusively, but substantially.

I’ve given you every possible option for living the life of “no,” including options that don’t involve actually saying the word. So, you have one final decision to make:

When you become a Certified Master of Denial, what will you do with all your free time?

Your time is your time to do with as you desire…waste, invest, binge-watch away, whatever. You get to decide how you spend it and with whom you spend it. However…

A guiding principle of this website is giving you the mental tools for self-improvement, so I’ll make a case for investing time rather than wasting it. Check out my Start Here page for ideas.

But first, you have an assignment. Use my comments section below to practice saying the “no” to someone that you haven’t been able to get out of your mouth before.

Until next time…remember the OverExamined Life motto: Think about it. A lot. Then do something.

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Comments

Scott Weigle says
January 20, 2018 at 9:59 am

What’s your biggest fear when it comes to saying “no?” Why? And what method could you use to get the word out of your mouth?

Jema @ Half the Clothes says
January 31, 2018 at 3:14 pm

I wish I would have said “no” to a dinner invite from someone I barely know. He helped me out once, so I felt obligated to his request for my time and attention. He gave me his, right? Don’t I have to at least return the 25 minutes of his time? If the only way to do that is add an additional 90 minutes to the owed 25 and spend money on food I don’t want to eat in a place I don’t want to be… them’s the breaks, right?

I said “maybe,” then quickly backpeddaled referencing the the actual block of time on my calendar labeled “only doing things I feel like doing.” (Actually “‘Busy!’ Make no plans!”) I told him I was going to stick to my commitment to myself on his requested day.

But then… I softened my “no” with “Weekdays tend to be better for me. I don’t like to plan too far in advance. I’m working long hours lately. A few hours in advance is the best time for me to plan.” Ugh. Set myself up to have to say another no. Wrong thing to do? Best way to avoid guilt of asking for his time and then refusing my own?

- Scott Weigle says
  January 31, 2018 at 6:06 pm
  
  That’s a tough one, Jema. I’ll leave “wrong thing to do” up to you. For me, it totally would have been. I generally don’t even like to go to dinner with people I know, regardless of their justification.
  
  Seems like it’s a candidate for the “no, but” approach: “I really can’t spare the time for dinner, but I’d be happy to…” do something roughly equivalent to what you asked of him in time commitment. Not sure what his angle was, but look over a piece of work, answer any questions he has, etc.
  
  And here is an article that I found interesting on managing “asks.” If you implemented something like this (or just acted like you had), you’d be able to say, “I set aside time to give individual attention on ___(day) each week. let me know which Friday (or whatever) works for you.”
  
  According to this writer, it’s highly likely that he’d never follow up…but you offered.
  
  What do you think?

Let's start at the very beginning! (It's a very good place to start.)

Section 4: Avoiding Being Asked1Section numbering continues from Part 1.

In this section:

The fine art of avoidance

Avoiding time leeches

Managing your social media

Don’t show up (again!)

Interact less, lurk more

Unfollow/ignore

Section 5: “No” Options

In this section:

Soft no’s: evasive maneuvers

Options

Listen: The asker's agendas

➤ Read a transcript

Semi-soft no’s: vague untruths

Options

Shading the truth takes practice!

Semi-hard no’s: intentional untruths

Options

The social media trap

Is it difficult for you to say "no"?

Semi-hard no’s: “yes” (but with qualifications)

Options

Hard no’s: gentle honesty

Options

Rock-hard no’s: harsh honesty

Pro tip

Will YOU take “no” for an answer?

Section 6: Advanced “No” Techniques

In this section:

Establishing a “no” zone

Examples

Video: Incremental “no” and personality change

Expanding your “no” zone

Examples

The perfect excuse for always saying ‘no’

Becoming unreliable

Becoming virtually unreliable

What will you do with your time?

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My Goals Discoveries

Section 4: Avoiding Being Asked1