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Home ⇢ Achieving Goals ⇢ The Difficult Journey from Point A to Point B: How Goal Achievement Really Works
The goal achievement gap

The Difficult Journey from Point A to Point B: How Goal Achievement Really Works

By Scott Weigle | OverExamined Life

Welcome to my first blog post. It’s a brief discussion of how things are going to work around here.

Age brings both wisdom and disappointment, doesn’t it? Especially to us over-thinkers.

How long does it take to figure out that life isn’t working the way we hoped it would? Maybe the little things are working out, but the big items are proving to be elusive. You know: those life goals and aspirations.

Or maybe the big things are coming along OK – career, family, whatever – but the nagging little things like health issues are threatening to derail the whole train.

Or perhaps we’ve ended up pretty much where we expected at this point in our lives… but it turns out it’s not where we want to be.

I don’t know how long it might have taken for wisdom/disappointment/realization to dawn on you, but it’s taken years for me. Decades, actually, to understand what I need to work on and, more importatly, how to go about it.

Crossing the canyon (or not)

That’s us, standing at Point A, looking at Point B so many times…

Looking across the canyon at a goal
You can click all images to see a larger version.

Point B can be many things that are different for each person: weight loss, a meaningful job, better mental health, a satisfying relationship. But building that bridge is difficult; easy in the beginning, harder the farther you go.

Our bridges usually end up like this:

Trying to build a bridge across canyon to goal

So we stick with Point A, or over time we change the location of Point B.

Moving the goal to make it easier

The most aggravating part of it all is that it wasn’t supposed to be this hard. Right? Things turned out to be WAY harder than any of us were led to believe growing up. So many rules we learned just don’t work as promised.

And yet we continue to believe. And make plans for new, soon-to-be-partially-completed bridges.

Like I used to do.

Maybe the world doesn’t work the way we were taught

Maybe the rules we are playing by aren’t the real rules.

Maybe there aren’t really “5 simple steps to weight loss/happiness/career advancement/whiter teeth.”

I’m against any conventional wisdom that says it’s easy, that we just have to know one simple truth or one secret method to change our lives. Frankly, that one-size-fits-all advice is a lie. Change can be very hard… but it’s not impossible.

The sooner we start working on the hard stuff rather than jumping from lie to lie, the sooner we reach our goals.

There is a way across the canyon

I figured out after years of disappointment with supposed shortcuts that there’s usually only one way to get across the canyon:

Crossing the canyon on foot to achieve difficult goals

Yeah. I’ve been down in the bottom of the canyon, scrambling over boulders and hacking my way through the brush, cutting a trail.

But I remember the false promises (“5 easy steps”) and I’ll never repeat that kind of stuff to you.

The false way to cross

Here’s how most people who give advice on the Internet operate. They struggle along the hard path of learning and self-discovery, sometimes for years:

Crossing a canying to figure out the process of achieving goals

So far so good. But after finally finding a solution that works for them, they decide to cash in by appealing to the universal human weakness for fast results and pain avoidance. How? By cherry-picking a few hard-earned lessons, giving them a marketing twist and overpromising fast and easy results.

Creating a false way to cross the goals canyon

And they add the kicker:

If I can achieve a goal, anyone should be able to
And if it’s not working, you aren’t trying hard enough…

We can’t help ourselves. We believe that we can take the shortcut and only do the easy parts while avoiding all the messy, painful, life-changing lessons. After all, someone wouldn’t actually lie about it, would they? But it ends up being like the monkey bars 1Remember these from the playground? Much harder than they look. Boy crossing monkey bars(←You should always click these.)

Trying to cross the canyon of goals and quitting

The OverExamined Life way to cross

I’ve tried to cross a lot of gaps that way. I’ve believed all too often that I could just follow a few simple steps. But after a while, my grip weakened and I dropped off. I finally got tired of being lied to. I know you are, too.

Well, I have figured out a few things that will help you, but I don’t have a faulty memory about the path I took. I remember every wobbly rock, thorny bush, and poisonous snake.

There are no fixed bridges here. But I do provide marked trails and even a donkey, just like at the Grand Canyon.

Crossing the goals canyon on a donkey with guidance

Why I’m starting this website

I love analyzing complicated issues and figuring out how to resolve them. I’ve taught myself how to re-plumb my house, manage my depression, master binge eating and stay in shape. It’s what I’m compelled to do, and what I love to do…

… but not as much as I love teaching and helping others understand complex situations in order to take action. That’s what this website is all about.

It’s about life, and it’s for you. So let’s get started. I’ve got a lot to share.

Scott Weigle signature

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Comments

  1. Scott Weigle says

    October 12, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    What frustrations have you endured while trying to follow various “programs” and “ten easy steps” lists? Let me know in the comments below.

    ~ Scott

    Reply
  2. Maisie says

    May 19, 2020 at 11:09 am

    The ten easy steps guides now make me laugh. They are always so lame, like keep a food diary or declutter. It’s much more helpful to read about insights. They can lead you to think and that can encourage to experiment with doing or not doing something. Thank you for this amazing blog!

    Reply

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